Hello, Joey Chickenskin here!
My friend Alyssa’s housemate is moving away so she’s asked me to ask around to see if there is anyone looking for somewhere to live. So I’ve written this REFERENCE for her house and for Alyssa:
To whom it may concern
I have known Alyssa for a few years ago and despite the ginger birthmark in her hair, she is very nice. I haven’t lived with her but I’ve been round her house a lot and have never thought ‘When WILL I be offered a cup of tea’ as the tea-offers are always perfectly timed. Alyssa also makes top notch biscuits and cakes and made me one of these (but better) for my birthday:
Every time the mouse is in his tummy, you want to see the little mouse. Every time you see the little mouse you want to see what it’s like in his tummy!
Imagine if she were your housemate! If you moved in, in , say July, you could spend six months getting ‘in with her’ so you’d get a cool Christmas Present.
The flat RULES. It’s not the Estate Agent’s ‘Ten Minutes from Town’ , it REALLY IS! My guess is 10 minutes (that’s a walking 10 minutes!) to the Alley Café, 13 to Lee Rosy and about 25 minutes to HOOTERS! If you lived there you’d save about £52K per year in taxi money!
It’s got a nice living room that has a great NOSEY WINDOW, is set away from the road, is nice and tidy like girls make em, decent sized kitchen and bathroom plus the kitchen and living room have a room dividing hatch that is shelved in such a way that you can PRETEND TO BE IN A COMIC, from the kitchen.
The room available is a double and is unfurnished (The rest of the flat is furnished) but there’s a good chance the landlord will put the bed back if asked.
You’d think that the rent for such a room would be £450,000 a week but it’s NOT!
It’s only £190 a month plus Bills!
Now. . .
To close the deal:
The postman looks like AXL W Rose!
After that clincher, LET THE GOLDRUSH BEGIN!
To find out more contact Alyssa on firstname.lastname@example.org.