Jumpers for Goalposts, Hockley Hustle & Hello Gore!

Just wanted to post up some details about 3 gigs we've got coming up over the next couple of weeks. You can get more info on the Hello Thor website or read below.

1

Jumpers for Goalposts @ Alley Cafe - Thurs 21st Oct.

We've got Cecille Grey playing live and the craft competition will be spooooooooooky. And it's free.
More info here: http://thesecretdiaryofjumpersforgoalposts.wordpress.com/

2

Hockley Hustle @ Jam Cafe - Sun 24th Oct

We're back at the Jam Cafe again this year, because we had such fun there last year. We've got a cracking line up too. Over The Wall, Moscow Youth Cult, Escapologists, Mexican Kids At Home, Matthew Stephen Cooper, Japanese Sleepers & Make A Halo.

It's all raising money for charity - there are other great bands playing all over Hockley and Hello Thor are really pleased to be a part of it.

3

Hello Gore II: The Return @ Nottingham Contemporary - Sat 31st Oct

Hello Gore is being allowed out for a second time. It's a massive FREE party at the Cafe.Bar.Contemporary with 8 amazing bands playing live. Dress to distress and have your photo taken in the Hello Gore Photobooth. Here's the poster:


Check out Hello Thor's GIGS page for full details on everything above.

See you there!

Bex
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Let's Get Quizzical

Don't forget!!

It's the mega one-off music quiz at Spanky Van Dyke's on MONDAY (16th August)!

I'm organising this superfun quiz to raise money for charity, so I'd love it if you came along and brought a team with you. It's all about music, different genres and different types of rounds, so hopefully there will be something for everyone. Test your knowledge, flex the muscles of your musical mind and tell us the answers to questions such as:

Q: Who teamed up with Nancy Sinatra for the 1971 hit 'Did You Ever'?


So, come along on Monday, 8ish at Spanky's and get quizzical! Your host will be the delightful Joey Chickenskin and live music will be provided by the handsome and talented Rory P McCarthy, who (with any luck) will also be providing us with a LIVE "name that tune"!

Thanks!

Becky

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A: Lee Hazlewood

Morning!

It's a grey day today, but after the lovely weekend I still feel all full up of sunshine. Spent most of the weekend working in the garden, and managing not to get sunburned, which is a first for me! I switched some bluebells from the front garden to the back, potted up some cuttings from my herbs, trimmed the hedge, did some weeding, painted the fence, tidied up and began a war against slugs and snails. Now, we're an organic garden, so what to do? Obviously I don't want to stand on them because that's gross & mean, but I also don't want them to eat my newly bought & installed beautiful plants right down until they are nothing but stubs in the ground. [So far they've eaten at least £20 worth...and counting...]. So, I'm trying various things.

First off, coffee grounds, which didn't seem to be effective in the least, but which I've since figured out is at least slowing them down! Thanks to the Little Deli in Carrington for their kind provision in one day of more coffee grounds than we could manage in a week! I've since been recommended digging a plastic cup of beer into the ground and giving them a drink before they (unfortunately) die. For a while we did try taking them round to the park, but apparently they have a homing instinct which works for up to 4 miles, so that's not going to be any use at all! [This instinct has been contested by Joey Chickenskin and apparently I have to put a dot of nail varnish on the snails and see if they come back, if I get round to doing that I'll let you know how it goes!]

Anyway, garden pests aside, it's really nice to work in the garden, to plant stuff and see it grow (or not), to figure out where you've made a mistake and fix it for next time, and then at some point to end up with a bunch of flowers for the bees, seeds for the birds and vegetables for us! It's also really nice to listen to the blackbird who has taken up residence nearby, who Anders described as being "The Police Academy Guy of birds" because it makes all different noises like alarms, bells, beeps and whistles.

I did actually mean to write a whole different post today, but it seems that's what's on my mind, so there we have it!

bex
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The Sun

Now, just to explain before I start... The Sun isn't my daily newspaper of choice. To be absolutely clear about it... I think The Sun is pretty vile, a waste of many intelligent minds, many resources and a vehicle to promote some pretty horrible opinions in a mainstream way.

Anyway, there are a couple of things I want to pop up on here relating to The Sun:

Firstly, check this out for a pretty clear cut example of how hypocritical and self-serving The Sun is. How can they piggyback their anti-PM campaign onto a mother's grief and then blithely blunder on when they make the same mistake they lambasted him for?

Secondly, Ever noticed how Page 3 is used to shoehorn right-wing propaganda into people's brains via the medium of tits? Read this.
Check out Joey Chickenskin's Live Journal (link also on the side of the page) for a pretty funny example... I hope he's put it up there. (Note to Joey: Please tell the full story of how you came about this page of The Sun! Pretty please?!)

So, there we have two pretty plain, basic examples of why it's such a horror that The Sun is one of our most widely-read "newspapers".

Becky
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June's Jumpers for Goalposts

Hello!

Just wanted to take a moment to reflect on last week's Jumpers for Goalposts, at which Joey Chickenskin proved how easy it is to write a play with his masterpiece: "A Tale of Two T-Shirts".

The premise was that Hello Thor are fattist for only making t-shirts in sizes S, M & L. Joey had leveraged the promise of a t-shirt out of Nick from Hello Thor with the guilt of their obesophobia, but, unbeknownst to HT, had also constructed a "XXL-O THOR" t-shirt himself to get his revenge. He capitalised on his hard work by dramatising the whole saga and getting Anders, Nick & Tom to play themselves and me to narrate. It was lots of fun to do, not sure it was AS much fun for the audience, apart from the bits where Joey threw those banger things onto the floor to simulate gunfire, and where he sang songs and made people join in with "He's got the whole world in his hands".

Anyway, here's some pics from the "play" and the competition to create something to replace the Colonel, who is being removed from KFC packaging:

The start of the "play"

Nick & Tom see their scripts for the first time

Daydream sequence


XXL-O THOR

Contrite (with signs Joey made for them which say SOZ)

Presenting Joey with his official Hello Thor Tee

Tom following stage directions from Joey to puff out his cheeks and mime fatness behind him

This took Silver
Gold medal winner... as usual the winning competition entry was disgusting!

2nd Place went to Gareth's team, well done guys!


3rd Place, not to be sniffed at!

I don't know why Joey is just doing his normal face... why doesn't he pull a funny face instead? Here he is presenting the winners with their prize... booze!


Love Bex

Thanks James & Angi!

Just wanted to pop up a quick post to say that the Marble Valley gig @ the Chameleon was amazing, and to say THANKS to James & Angi from Fists who made it happen.

Before the gig I had never heard of Marble Valley, let alone heard their music. To be honest I'm not 100% sure I've ever even heard Pavement before. So, I went along mainly to see friends and the music came second in the priority list. So much so that when I was sat downstairs talking (ask Joey Chickenskin for his new favourite euphemism for this) and someone said "I don't know if I can be bothered to go upstairs" I nearly agreed. I'm so glad I didn't. This was one of the best gigs I've been to in AGES. Life-affirming and just so enjoyable, I'm really glad I made the effort and climbed those 14 or so stairs!

If you haven't seen them then they are coming back in October i think. Their music was great, it had a sense of humour without being jokey and they were clearly all really great musicians. Especially the Maracas guy who played them with real intent! Steve West (the lead singer) was great, really funny and charming and somehow mesmerising, despite not being really "performance-y".

This is a bit rambly because I'm rubbish at writing about music and bands. Safe to say I enjoyed it so much that I bought the CD and me and Tom went to ask Steve West to sign them. I said "Tom you go first I'm a bit shy" which Tom took as a cue to say to Steve West ... "Steve this is Bex, she's really hot for you, will you sign her CD?". Tom, you are a total bozo. I really wanted to say something childish like "No! Tom thinks you're hot not me!" (Especially because earlier in the night I had compared Steve to a monster - in an admiring way, not a harsh one!). BUT, when he turned to look at me I couldn't say anything at all. He had such a lovely big face and soft gentle eyes, and he said "I'm a shy one too". I couldn't say anything, I just meekly gave him my cd and waited til later to berate Tom for being an idiot.

Ramble over, thank you James and the lovely Ang for bringing some new music to me and for putting on one of the best gigs I've been to in AGES.

Love Bex xx

p.s. I haven't read this through so if it's mental and full of typos I apologise!

Pictures!

Hello,

Ah, another month, another Jumpers For Goalposts! Last night was a strange one really. While it was brilliant in many ways, it was also really odd. To begin with the Alley Cafe was jam-packed with people. Nick from Hello Thor kept claiming they were a victim of their own success, but I think some drunk people just happened upon it and a group of ladies had booked a table for dinner (not knowing what they were getting themselves into!).
This made manoeuvering (How the hell is this word spelt?!) around the room a little bit like playing one of those puzzles where you slide little squares around until the full image is revealed. Anyway, no time to ramble, so i'll make lists instead:

The Good:
Seeing lots of lovely people who I only see once a month because I'm not very good at going out.
The winner of the creative competition - incredible dedication to the cause
Learning that Rachel (from Kathleen & Lily's) has a phobia of cut hair, and I can kind of understand where she's coming from with that.
Impromptu crowd involvement in Line's rendition of Love Is Strange by Mickey & Sylvia
Alyssa's massive new mobile phone
Joey's incredible homage to the Big Bopper (who is really creepy!)
Fists (always)
Going home with a signed drawing entitled Transformer Vs Pyramid on a paper plate
The overheard conversation between Yellow T-Shirt guy & his friend where his friend was saying (a little worse for wear) "This is making me so happy, oh I love Buddy Holly, this is brilliant, oh it's made me so happy, I can't believe it" and on. It was lovely.
Tom Whalley's teeny tiny quiff

The Bad:
General squeezy-ness in the bar. If Hello Thor continue to be a victim of their own success then a new venue will have to be found!
The hot chocolate machine was switched off
Many of the creative competition entries

The Ugly:
Jenna, Rachel & Chaffe's competition entry... it had real human hair on it for chrissakes!
The crowd involvement in Line's rendition of Love Is Strange by Mickey & Sylvia. (*Please note that in this instance the crowd refers to me)
That dick trying to start a fight. What was that all about? Someone doesn't understand the phrase "just for fun".

Here's the photographic evidence:

Jumpers For Goalposts

Is on tomorrow! Yay!

I think I'm right in saying Joey Chickenskin and James Finlay are both playing. And someone else who's name has dropped out of my brain. It's a Buddy Holly tribute, I think.

This is very vague. I started this with a real sense of purpose... tell people about Jumpers for Goalposts!... but now I'm realising I haven't been paying attention to what Anders has told me about it and this is pretty much the worst information bulletin EVER!

Oh well!

See you tomorrow!
Becky
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Doing other things instead of doing work

It's strange how sometimes doing other things instead of working isn't that pleasurable. I've been whiling away the morning doing little bits of real work alongside lots of bits of procrastination, but the guilt is too bad and I'm not really enjoying it. So, this little post will be my last hurrah before I knuckle down to some serious business.

I just wanted to pop up some pictures from the last Jumpers for Goalposts, which was great and wrong in almost equal measures (not really, great won by a long chalk!). The Tom Tomas Club played a chaotic, under-rehearsed, amazing set of songs linked to films. Tom introduced every song claiming they wrote it and it had been made famous by other people. When you think about that please bear in mind that the set was made up of Ghostbusters, Anyone Else But You (Juno), Man of Constant Sorrow (Oh Brother Where Art Thou?) and Purple Rain.... Purple Rain... by Prince... or "that little feller" as Tom called him. It was ludicrous, especially the part where they sang Anyone Else But You to each other lovingly and added in their own names and the bit where Nick put down his guitar and threw himself headlong into Purple Rain, arms outstretched bellowing the lyrics at the top of his voice.

Here are the pics:












As you can see the performance was interesting, the creative competition fiercely fought and the evening (in the words of Joey Chickenskin) RULED.

Bye!

Becky
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Hello Gore... The Aftermath

Hello Gore. It was great wasn't it? Best Halloween Party EVER!

If you'd like to see some pics click here.

If you were on a pic and would like a copy, just let us know. There are some amazing photos and costumes, take a look!

To give you some idea of what kind of party it was... After Hello Gore (feeling green around the gills on Sunday) we swept up:

- Talc
- Straws
- Sweetie Wrappers
- Popcorn
- Cobwebs
- Fairy cake cases
- Fake Hair
- Feathers
- Plastic spiders
- Pumpkins
- Set lists
- Broken glass
- LOTS of safety pins
- A fake wound

Brilliant.

Mask Mayhem

Hello!

We went along to Jumpers For Goalposts at the Alley Cafe last week and witnessed some truly disturbing activities...

The creative competition was about making a summer-solstice-wicker-man-creepy-mask and these were the results:


Competition Entrants (I want to make a joke about how this is them without their masks, but I'll refrain...)



The person who made this proudly declared themselves "The Winner"... they weren't. They came 3rd. However, it is an amazing creation.



Look at what it does!



2nd Place was Joey Chickenskin who won an album for old people couples which made me feel a bit sad... good sad, but sweet old people break my heart a bit, so that album got me big time!



Victory! Alison came first with her amazing elephant mask creation. Look at this photo... that's real victory for you, that's how you should celebrate when you win something.




Tom was really funny when he became "Prize Master". When I mentioned this later he let me into a little secret... he's a "prop comic... like Joe Pasquale", and those prizes were great props. An old couples album, a mug with an alsatian on it and the triumphant hand with a bee on it... as modelled by Anders:



Anyway, it was lots & lots of fun, so thanks to Tom & Everyone at the Alley Cafe for such a great evening!

Bex
xxx

Filthy Photos

A little while ago we went to the Happy Happy Poster Club's opening night for it's most recent exhibition, which was excellent by the way. The quality of work was really high and it was at the new Hand & Heart Gallery on Derby Road (I've probably got that wrong by the way, it might also be Heart & Hand or Hand in Heart or something else entirely!) which is a great space. A really lovely place to be.

SO, anyway, while we were there enjoying the art Joey Chickenskin happened to point out something strange about one of the posters. Very quickly we descended from the lofty plains of art appreciation to purile giggling pointing whispering and photo taking. Anyway, I bumped into Joey last night at Jumpers For Goalposts (which was GREAT and I have some photos from that to put up in a little while too!) and he demanded that I put these filthy pics up here... so it's his fault.

Anders & Abi & Rolf


Anders completing Joey's drawing challenge



Tez!


Hand &/In Heart


Oh dear!

(Sorry to the creator of this image, which is rather lovely when not blurred...

I feel I should point out that Angi posed for this picture on purpose... not that that stopped James from really enjoying saying "Angi's a dickhead"every time he saw the photo...



Bye!

Love Bex
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